Thank You
by Neon Star
Summary: Obi-wan writes a letter to Qui-gon. Post TPM, Slighly Pre AOTC


Don't own it, Lucas does.  
  
Thank You (Obi-wan's POV, post TPM, pre AOTC, vignette)  
  
Dear Master,  
  
It's been nearly ten years since you died. I've never forgotten, in fact, I dread it whenever the anniversary of your death comes, because the nightmares come with it. I miss you with every year, though the pain heals with time. Just as you used to say, pain doesn't leave, it fades, but it doesn't go away. Sometimes, I still wake up to expect you standing at the doorway, smiling at me and telling me that I slept in again. Just like you sometimes did. Then there were those times where you literally dragged me out of bed as well, which I think were more common then those times when you actually let me sleep in.  
  
Anakin realizes what today is, and decided to leave me alone for a while. In fact, he is the one to suggest that perhaps I write my feelings out in a letter to you. He said that perhaps it would help with the memories, and the nightmares. I think he's done the same thing, as I've found him often enough over the years at his desk, writing out things to his mother, though she is as far beyond him as you are to me. In this way, we're have something in common. We're both orphans, though Anakin's mother is still alive, we hope, she is out of his reach. The life of a slave is hard, and in time it can kill. But I never say that to Anakin. I can't kill that last hope he has.   
  
I wish to thank you, Master, for everything, but mostly for Anakin. I know I didn't like the boy at first, in fact, I think I may have despised him. But that was my pride, and my selfishness. Without him, I don't think I would be the man I am today. I may not even be alive if it wasn't for him.   
  
I remember that during the days after your funeral, I never got a good night's sleep, as I would always wake after watching your death and your body burning over and over in my mind. My nightmares twisted everything during that time, and the young Queen at that time, Padme, as she insisted that I call her, took Anakin so I could straighten out my emotions. But one night she couldn't, so he slept in his room in our temporary rooms there. The nightmares had escalated to their worst during that time, I think I remember waking up screaming a few times. I tried to smother my screams and cries, in fear that Anakin would hear them, but obviously I did not accomplish that, as he came to my room. He didn't say a word, only slipped into the other side of my bed and hugged me. It was like a dam broke within me when I felt those little arms around my chest. I don't know how long I cried, I just know that when I finished, I had no more tears to shed, and that the sorrow within me had begun to become less. Little Anakin still held onto me, and with slightly offset control, was sending me comfort. He was crying as well, yet he was offering me comfort. He really touched my heart then, Master, and it was the beginning of our bond and our friendship, many respects.  
  
All these years later, we still help each other up when we need to. Though Anakin has grown distant from me now, and that distance hurts, I respect it. He is becoming his own person; he is no longer the affectionate boy he had once been. I am proud of him, though I act like I am not. I think I realize why you treated me in such a manner, after Xanatos. You were afraid that I would turn if I grew to have too much pride, and it is the same fear that I hold for Anakin, as he is a bit prideful. But otherwise he is a compassionate young man, who hates injustice and slavery with a passion that will make him a great Jedi. His power is immense, and by now, many agree he is the Chosen One. I cannot call him as such, though, because I have seen him in all his moods, from his lowest depression, to his highest joy, to his darkest fear, and his deadliest anger. His anger worries me, Master, but I hope in time he will learn to curve it. But the reason I cannot think of him as the Chosen One, is because he seems so human, and is human, with all his faults and hopes. Many Jedi do not see it like that, they see it as though he was inhuman, otherworldly, and treat him as such. Anakin hates it, as do I, but we cannot help it.  
  
In the end, I love him as if he were both my son and my brother. He is my son because I feel responsible for him, because he seems so young and needing of protection at times, because that is how my love grew for him. He seems as if he were my brother because we sometimes act the same age, both young, and for a fact, I am only fifteen years older then he is. We're both orphans, as I said, and we both see things the same way at times, we act like brothers at times. Either way, our bond is nearly as strong as the one I had with you, perhaps it is as strong.   
  
To the other matters that I had best put down, or they'll come back to haunt me, literally. I want to thank you for the memories you gave me, Master, for the love you gave me, for being the Father I never had. I want to thank you for the troubles you got me out of, the times you sat listening to me, the quiet evenings when we meditated together. I want to thank you for everything, the lessons, the emotions, the things that you gifted me with that now make up a large part of myself. And I want to thank you for the most precious being that you brought into my life, Anakin, the boy I once rejected, the boy you would not let me leave behind. I swore I would train him, and in the end I love him as you loved me, as a son. I thank you for making me promise that to you, Master, and I promise that I will always protect and love him, to my very last breath, as you did. Thank you, Qui-gon, and I love you, Father.   
  
May you have peace within the Force.   
  
Your son,  
Obi-wan 


End file.
